A bowl of kampua mee is RM 4 and laksa RM 5 on Chinese New Year’s eve! @@

Crazy! Can they take advantage just like that? The same thing will happen again, during the first few days of CNY, opening after closing for few days.

My parents are surprisingly hardworking with some decorations this year.

Happy Dragon Year 2012!

Sincerely wishing everyone great health, wealth and happiness always. =)

Like I said, after nearing a week in Chiang Mai, boredom creeped in after seeing much of the town. Pai came into the picture. I was contemplating whether to go. In the end, my heart said,

“Let’s go!”.

That morning of  my departure began with a nice start.

My sturdy companion. =)

After breakfast, I was waiting for my pickup to Pai, by the roadside of my guesthouse. Mark, the Englishman, spotted me from across the street, and gave me a friendly nod. After a few minutes, he came over with the usual introduction and chatted for a bit. Before he left, he complimented me saying I’m beautiful.

Good sign to head to Pai, I was thinking. =) He came another two times checking I’m okay because  my pickup was late for nearly an hour, picking up other passengers at different hotels. Maybe, it was God’s assurance too, telling me through Mark, that the trip will be a-okay. =)

The minibus ride (it’s actually a 12 seaters van, but Thais like to termed it minibus instead) was rewarded with beautiful scenery once we ascended the hill up to Pai. When we stop for a short break along the way, the Thai driver asked me,

“You kah sik?”

I shook my head for a bit, and he repeated a few times. He meant,

“You car sick?”

Haha. I told him I’m fine. It was a winding mountain road, and with the exhilarating speed that he was driving, it was torturous for other passengers. Luckily, I was seated in front, and I felt okay. With my that response, the remaining trip up was even more exhilarating with his F1 driving skills, missing by an inch on the car from the opposite side, while he was overtaking, on a curve. On a hill. -.-

I got a feeling he tried very hard to make me car sick.

After reaching Pai town under 3 hours (that’s a record), I decided to search for Tacomepai, the organic farm with bamboo bungalow, from my list of accommodation. For TB100 and to be with nature, why not. It was about 6km from Pai town, which was inconvenient for me, but my heart said,

“Just go!”.

Took the motorbike taxi and arrived at the farm, not seeing a soul. A local lady and little boy was sitting at one of the hut. They signaled me to follow them. We did some trekking, me with my heavy backpack before they showed me to a simple and very humble hut.

I thought it was their house at first and before long, it was actually where I will be staying; my bamboo bungalow.

Everything was very basic and true to its theme, back to nature and environmentally friendly.

The verandah leading to my wash basin and outdoor bathroom.

The wash basin. I don’t know where’s the source of water coming from, but the cylinder hanging mid-way was where I drew the water from to brush my teeth and wash my face.

My bathroom. Yes, there’s hot shower and thanked God for that! Oh shoot! I just realized I missed the sitting bowl in the picture! Hidden behind the bamboo poles on the right. The sitting bowl was buried into the ground inside the bathroom, just like that.

My room.

The mosquito net covering over the mattress.

I hanged out at the verandah for a while, adjusting to my surrounding, feeling it and thinking,

“What have I gotten myself into? Where the heck is everyone? It’s so quite.”

The view a few metres in front of my bungalow.

The other type of bungalow, some with electricity, some without.

I was contemplating whether I should get back to town and find other guesthouses there. I packed up my bag and trekked back to the main area. Not a single soul was around and then, I saw her.

I heaved a sigh of relief. Mod, the Bangkok student, was sitting at the lounge area, surfing the internet. Yes, the wifi was only around that area. Through her very very basic English, she was struggling to let me know everyone was away working, some guests were at Pai town and weren’t back yet.

The cat meowing non-stop.

The lounge or recreational area.

The kitchen.

And I knew, I’m not alone judging from the list. Later that evening, Mr Sandoz told usually they were full and I was lucky to get a place that day. =)

I decided to stay when Mod said she’ll fetch me back to Pai town to rent a motorbike.

Now, that’s another problem. I don’t really know how to ride a motorbike, had only ridden once like 10 years ago, and I don’t have a license.

And, like a force pushing me forward, I ended up renting an automatic motorbike for a day. -.-

It was only so because it would be easier for me to get back to Tacomepai later. I’ve observed along the way when I took the motorbike taxi back, there were a lot of slopes making it very challenging to use a bicycle instead.

Anxious at first but after a while, I got hold of it.

“It will be okay,” I thought.

Decided to ride back to Tacomepai first because along the way, the view was breathtaking.

See what I meant?

I could fall in love with the view. =)

One of the few hip cafes outside the town. There was quite a lot of Bangkok-ians lounging around. Later that evening, Mod told me the day before I arrived, Pai  was crowded with Thais from Bangkok because of the long holidays over the new year’s weekend.

So beautiful!

Can’t take a picture of me riding the motorbike myself, so I took my shadow instead.

Made a mental note to be back by 5pm and shower before it gets dark at 6pm. Besides, Mod asked me to join her at 7pm to hang out at a jazz bar in town. =)

The motorbike I rented. =)

It was kinda cute to watch the pigs, ducks and chickens all snorting, quacking, and clucking so  loud when they saw the lady came over with a bucket. It was their food. Looked like leftover rice plus some other stuffs to me, but they didn’t mind but gobbled up everything! The pigs were fighting over some food soon after.

Through the translation of Mr Sandoz, the owner of the farm, Mod and I will use by rented motorbike to follow her friend in a truck to town. I asked Mod to ride the motorbike with me as the pillion as I am certainly not efficient to handle one with a passenger behind! Mr Sandoz asked if I would like to join him with the rest tomorrow working in the jungle. I said yes.

A two-seaters old red truck zipped passed us and we followed from behind. I asked Mod,

“How do you know your friend? In school or university?”

After a while, she finally got what I meant and said she knew him in Pai. She added,

“He is good people”.

I said, she is too. =)

We rode through the dark, dim roads, with barely any street lights, cutting through local residents’ houses, with barely any lights on too. I wasn’t afraid because I trusted Mod. And as I looked up the clear sky of the night, millions of beautiful star adorned the sky, with the moon shining the night. I haven’t seen such a night for quite a while and I etched a smile on my face. =)

The old red truck came to a halt at a house. It was so dark that I couldn’t make the structure of the house. A long hair, thin Thai guy got off the truck. That’s Na.

At first glance, some people would have second thought to be around such person. A torn rugged jeans, with sandals and long thick lush hair ala bohemian braiding hair style. But I remembered what Mod told me earlier,

“He is good people”.

I told myself too, don’t judge a book by it’s cover. But still, I wasn’t afraid.

Na spoke to me in a surprisingly better English, that he would need to unload the truck first before heading to town with us. As it turned out, there was a horse nibbling hays in the dark, in its pen. A Pai local guy greeted us together with a youngster lady. They were unloading hays from the truck, the horse’s food.

The Pai guy chatted with me in a stammering of English and with Mod in Thai. I knew then, Mod met them for the first time as well.

We headed to the jazz bar soon after.

The unplugged music that night but it’s not jazz related.

There were a few dogs at the bar and this one-eyed dog was the popular one. She’s a cutie!

The sweet Mod and Na.

The night was getting colder and Na decided to start a bonfire nearby the bar. Mod said to leave it to him because,

“He is professional.”

Before long, all of us surrounded the bonfire for the much needed warmth.

Na is an interesting character. He learned his English by conversing and asking tourists that came to Pai. He learned it well too because throughout the night, he became my trusty translator.

He was studying political science at a local university before dropping out because he protested against his university’s chancellor over some issues. Government agencies were a deterrent to him after knowing the ugly pictures inside.

He shared about his younger crazy days, drinking like mad, fighting around with others just because boys his age like to show their macho-ness, power and coolness at that time. The turning point was when he was 18 years old, when he saw his own best friend being stabbed to death in a drunkard fight. He was totally off alcohol 2 years after that.

At one point during our conversation, he said,

“Why worry too much about tomorrow? Who knows what will happen? Live life as it is now. Appreciate now, only then we will be happy. Simple life.”

I nodded in agreement. I saw it as a sign that other people are passing the message that I have known long with affirmation and perhaps, a reminder.

We left the jazz bar and with just one motorbike, the 3 of us rode to Na’s friends’ Reggae Bar. 3 on a motorbike is nothing unusual in Thailand. It was very very cold.

For a second, his friends were a bit more intimidating; long hair, rugged jeans, bohemian kind of style, reggae music and Bob Marley. You get the picture.

As the night progressed, all of them were nice and interesting people who love music very much. One of them is a drummer, few of them know how to play the guitar. The whole night, the guitars were strummed to beautiful melodies over the bonfire. I saw how passionate they are over music, going deep into their soul and just let their fingers strumming over the strings of the guitars.

Mod could sing and play the guitar very well. Na earlier was hogging the electric guitar inside the bar and practicing his chords. He joined us later outside and once the guitar reached his hand, it never left. All night long, they sang beautiful Thai songs. I didn’t understand a word, but I appreciate good and nice music when I heard one.

It was Mod’s last night in Pai and she wanted to stay out late that night. I was very okay with that, although half-way, she kept apologizing for keeping me up late.

I was a farang but they made me felt like I was part of the gang. I didn’t know what their conversation was about, but I never felt left out at all. If there’s trouble understanding, we had to interrupt Na, who was buried deep into playing his guitar, to do the translation.

At about 3 am, we decided to call it a night. Na’s friend, the owner of the bar, sang me a song,

“Malay, Malay, Malay… Malay, Malay, Malay…,

She is from Malaysia…

Malay, Malay, Malay… Malay, Malay, Malay…

Malaysia…”

I laughed and we bade goodbye. Mod and I were without our jackets and it was freezing cold in the middle of the night. The owner without hesitant, lend us one earlier.

I told Mod I will need to hug her tight and she said,

“Hug! Just hug!”

I hugged her real tight from behind, hands inside her jacket, clamping her left hand, trying to give her warmth, while her right hand was kept at the motorbike’s handle, maneuvering the machine. Na’s old red truck was in front, together with one of his friend.

We reached the farm. Na and Mod chatted for a while. I didn’t understand a word, but I think Mod likes Na.

She told me earlier during the night,

“He is kind. Kind people.”

And she got Na’s contact number then after knowing him for 2 years. =) Sweet.

The farm was pitch dark with no lights at all. Mod insisted to accompany me to my bungalow. With the light from my phone, and the farm dog guiding us in front, we trekked carefully on the path, but Mod fall along the way and I felt bad.

We stop when we reached the bungalow and looked up to the sky, admiring the stars. She said,

“Nice view!”

She kept saying that night,

“If you scary, find me at my place. You okay?”

I said yeah. And I hugged her and thanked her from the bottom of my heart. She didn’t know for what, but it was the best day I ever had with her and the rest.

The farm dog stayed behind even when I shooed her away to accompany Mod back to her place. Mod shouted back,

“She wants to follow you.”

And disappeared into the dark. I shouted back at her to be careful.

I patted the dog lovingly. The dog went around my bungalow, sniffing and checking around. It went up the stairs up to the verandah, went down under the bungalow and around it. I brushed my teeth and used the “natural” bathroom and still found her at the verandah waiting and looking at me walked into  my room. From her eyes, I know she wanted to know that I’m okay and safe.

After a while, I heard she’s gone. There I was, all alone in the jungle, but I wasn’t afraid because I felt God was with me.

The only thing that I was really afraid of was the cold. I fall asleep with a smile in my heart and couldn’t wake up in time to help Mr Sandoz with his work.

Pai will always be a good memory for me, forever. =)

Just as the sky turned dark, the whole night, Chiang Mai was illuminated with bright dots. It was a beautiful sight.

The whole night was a sight to behold. The smile etching on people’s face as they happily lighted the lanterns, holding it for a while and releasing it into the air. Everyone’s head was docking up to the sky, smiling, laughing happily, making a wish for the new year.

I released a small lantern too, writing up my wishes, so that God can read it up there. I joined the rest of the people when I looked up at my lantern, slowly lifting up the air, further up and away, and feeling happy with a smile on my face.

The main street near Tae Phae Gate was closed. A main stage was erected with some local stars entertaining the crowd, a larger crowd walking down the street looking at local wares and food sold. Some sat by the side restaurants or pubs, people watching or looking up at the sky. I was soaking up the whole atmosphere, absorbing all the happy vibes from the locals or foreigners alike.

The temples all had their new year eve’s ceremonies and prayers. The monks were selling the air lanterns too and people were releasing it from temple compound. It was more serene and a beautiful sight to see.

Happy new year to all my friends, where ever you are.

Whatever your wishes are for the new year, I wish all of you the best of health always and happiness for all the blessings in your life.

Here’s to a brand new year. =)

It seemed surreal that I just bought the tickets last Sunday and hopped into the plane and train two days later. Surreal but real!

I wanted to take the train all the way from Kuala Lumpur to Chiang Mai, but due to the year end season, certain routes didn’t match my time and plan.

Left with not many choices, I had to fly to Bangkok and took the train to Chiang Mai.

Traveled from Suvarnabhumi Airport via Airport Link Rail to Makkassan station, changing to MRT to Hua Lamphong Station.

Highlights of the day:

There is a public shower in Hua Lamphong Train Station for TB20 (about RM2). How cool is that! Nothing luxuries but for locals and travelers alike, it is very convenient and refreshing!

Delicious pork egg congee at the stall next to the train entrance for TB30. Portion a tad too small but delicious.

The second class upper sleeper berth train from Bangkok to Chiang Mai was good, cheap, clean and comfortable. Although I would reckon a 6 footer might find the lower berth much more comfortable with bigger space. Only downside, it turned pretty cold as we ventured through the night.

Seats by day.

Sleeper berth by night.

There are places to keep your bags below the seats, but I just wanna keep my bag closed to me since I have my lappy and external hard disk in it. Plus there’s still plenty of room for me to sleep. For a 5’5″ lady.

For a 14 hours trip, I think it’s one heck of a good deal, plus saving a night’s stay at the hotel.

More to come!

I’ve quoted before in my previous entries, on a good quote from a friend.

Those who learn about life on reflection or imitation are the wise people. Another way of learning is through the bitter experiences yourself. The unwise way, if unavoidable, but the best learning.

The above video is about Steve Jobs, giving his commencement in Stanford University in 2005.

There was three highlights that he touched on, which, I would like to reflect on.

1) Connecting the dots – on dropping out of college

“… You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards. So, you have to trust that somehow the dots will connect your future. You have to trust in something. Your guts, destiny, life, karma; whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road, will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even if it lead you off the well worn path, and that would all make the difference…”

2) Love and lost – on losing and reunited with Apple

“… The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything…”

“… Sometimes, life gonna hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith…”

“…. The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work and the only way to do great work is to love what you do…”

“… If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking and don’t settled…. Keep looking. Don’t settled…”

3) Death – when he was diagnosed with cancer

“… Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking  you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart…”

I felt strongly compelled to write this when I heard what he was saying.

_____________________________________________________________

Another true story that I read, quoted from Professor Morrie in ‘Tuesdays With Morrie’, gave a lot of insightful quotes.

“Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”

Do we need to have to face death tomorrow, only to start regretting not living our life the best before or today? If we can accept the fact that we’re going to die anytime, even tomorrow, then we’ll learn how to live. Life is so fragile because it is not our call to decide WHEN we want to die. Someone up there will do that decision, not when you feel like it, but when He feels like it. We have no authority on that. Absolutely none.

_____________________________________________________________

Weird. I HATED all this things, these philosophical stuffs or quotes before.

Now, I can’t help reflecting the vital points they are driving straight into my heart, often looking at my own cards on hand. What? Me on this??

Maybe, I just grow up a little. =)

… being with such a darling and adorable child. Em’s innocence, laughter and voice are able to exude charm, pulling the string in everyone’s heart.  =)

By Susan Miller

You have been dealing with plenty of pressure over the past two years, due to the presence of the eclipses in your sign and the appearance of the grand cardinal cross – angry planets working at cross purposes to each other, adding an additional layer of at times crushing tension. You have had considerable responsibilities at home, too, either because you have been worried about covering the rent or mortgage, or because you have a parent who desperately needs your assistance. Your career is undergoing change, too, so all in all, nothing in life has been easy.”

O.o

Wow. Spot on. Angry planets. Hmmmm….

“You deserve happiness and it is coming, dear Cancer! Early November can help you to find love, and at the very least, have time to relax and have fun for a change.”

o.O  In fact, I would welcome happiness in all areas very much.

“Sometimes getting some happiness in life turns out to be so refreshing that all your most pressing concerns seem to recede into a more proper perspective, and you get renewed energy and a feeling of optimism. This is what I see for you, dear Cancer, and I want you to get your full share of fun and love this month.”

Hell yeah, and thank you.

“Your career has been undergoing a lot of change lately, especially if you were born early in your sign, June 21-24 or so. Hang on, as things will likely work in your favor after the dust settles. Don’t make any radical moves this month, especially at a time when Mercury is about to retrograde. You will soon see that late March will bring you lots of opportunities, so sit tight.”

Hmmm. Okie dokie.

“Let’s go back to talk about travel a little more, because this is a trend that is going to grow quite a bit from now until mid-2012!”

Why not? That’s what I’ve been looking to do for so long!

“Mars will enter Virgo on November 10 for an unusually long time – eight months. This suggests you will be on the road quite a bit. This could mean that your job will require you to visit clients within, say, 500 miles from your home, or that you will be jetting around your own city and its surroundings quite a bit from now on.”

“You may be using a car or a taxi, or you may go by rail. You might fly, but if so the flight would be short, approximately less than five hours. Most likely you will be going by car, but if you don’t have one, public transportation will be efficient and convenient, too. This is a trend you will see take hold quickly now, and grow in importance.”

=)

“I know that over the past two years you’ve had a lot of strenuous eclipses that changed your life dramatically, but this is not one of them – this one will brim with good news. Eclipses bring news from the outside world into your life, and often surprise us by shaking up our lives by adding interesting elements. See what comes up for you, dear Cancer, and be excited. It is true that your life is changing, but in every way, it is changing for the better!”

Tell me about those 2 years. Man.

Those were the excerpts from a very long in-depth analysis I stumbled online. Taking it with a pinch of salt. Reading some good stuff is usually good, and I don’t want to put all my bet on it.

Changing for the better. I like that. =)

It could be a new born baby, it could be a piece of song, it could be someone, it could be … anything.

I consider myself averagely creative. Hahaha Funny seeing myself saying that.

A lot of things inspire me. Music, song, art, fashion, people.

Different things inspire me differently. It could just be a simple uplifting of spirit, to make my day feels better and brighter.

The piece of junk I drew when my heart, mind and soul was in a deep shit. Yes, deep shit and it was scary.

I have to say, the biggest inspiration to help get me out slowly from my affliction, dilemma, confusion, and lost… was God.

As I was talking to a friend, spiritually lost equals to emotional problem too. It can’t be seen on the outside, but the emotional turmoil feel from the inside can create equally great impact.  If left unaided, it could be chaotic.

A person can have so  many thing in his/her life; successful career, big house, big car, beautiful family… but feel empty on inside. So many successful person who climbed up to the top of the ladder eventually give up on the luxuries of life, because they can’t find the fulfillment that they needed. There’s a big void in the heart that need to be addressed.

Another friend lamented, I can’t go down any longer because I am already at the bottom. I choosed to believe him. I’m not 100% ok, but better, bit by bit because I believe Someone is guiding me, bit by bit, through my prayers.

Humans are funny. When everything around them failed, they tend to look up the sky, and seek the invisible force.

I believe in fate too, but I believe that our fate is arranged by God even more. Have you ever been in a situation, that no matter what decision you think it’s best suited for yourself, that you think you have the power to control your destiny, but somehow, it just can’t be executed according to your plan? Why? How? I was and am in that situations countless of time.

What can I do?

Just pray for the best and in the process of doing so, I’m finding the peace I so needed through Him. =)

I’m breathing this word day in and day out. And surprisingly, when my ex-colleague, many many years ago came back from a missionary trip, he bought us little banners with bible verses on it. And I happened to pick this particular one of all. Is it all mapped out already?

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future.”

What inspire you?

He was asking my friend more of what he’s doing for a living. But when it was his turn, he was very secretive about what he himself is doing, referring to it as his “goal” and said he wouldn’t just tell it to anyone.

He openly admitted he used people to achieved his goal, in the sense that he shared selectively to the people about his “goal”, and the selective people would normally got interested and volunteered to help him achieve his goal without charge. And he is still working towards his goal for more than 10 years. He only worked for a year to support his “goal”.

He said he dislike people who complains a lot or making life complicated.

All the while that he’s talking, he avoided eye contact with me until he suddenly turned towards me and asked, “What is wrong with you? You seems to be raising hands a lot to everything. You don’t have to make life complicated. Just sort it out and figure out the solution. There is always a solution, like jumping off the building. It’s just one step to jump off and problem solved. Not that I’m asking you to jump off the building….”

People will always give a different glance to a person once they term you different, or complicated. Some will go far away from you because they don’t want to be involved or anything that will be inconvenient that will waste their time.

I never want to be complicated, I never ask to have to deal with the complicating emotions I have, and different that i am coz of the emotional abnormality, I dont think I should be discriminated just because I’m different internally.

It would be the same with people grappling with depression, autism, and the like. On the outset, they look normal, but equally, they needs society’s care and love too, just like people who are disabled, HIV carrier, cancer patients, down-syndrome and the list goes on.

We may be black, white, yellow on the outside, but when we bleed, it’s the same – red blood.

… I wanna give up…. Can I?

My heart is so fragile…. Why am I hurt so easily? Am I not strengthen already after so much have happen….?

I’m tired…… I can’t fight the flow anymore… I will just surrender… To the flow. As long as others are happy… As long as they ate happy…………….,.